Nerd Q&A: Straight Talk

Here's a question that I personally answered a while ago, but after thinking about it, I figured there may be other people out there who want some straight talk.

Do you have any personal advice (not a gimmick or step-by-step program) for someone who is socially anxious?

Yes, actually. You know, I like step-by-step instructions, but they can be a little disconnected, and sometimes you just want to know what other people think, how they feel, and how they get through life.

So I’m going to share a few things that I’ve figured out over the years.

Nerd Q&A: How Do I Get a Nerd To Go Out With Me?

Pierre Willemin - Nerd Power

Here's a question I would like to see more often.

I'm a very outgoing woman but I'm attracted to a shy, awkward nerd: how do I get him to go out with me...and maybe take things further?

You may have noticed this already: the majority of nerds are, as you put it, shy and awkward. A lot of nerds don't realize they're attractive, or they're simply insecure, which means they misinterpret signals that other people easily pick up, so they don't typically make the first move.

Nerd Q&A: Am I Smart Enough to Date a Nerd?

mliu92 - Not in Oz

I'm not sure how many people have this question and are afraid to ask, but I've heard variations on it over the years:

I really like her, but I'm worried that she's more intelligent than I am and we'll be incompatible.

He's always talking about things that go way over my head.

Sometimes she's telling me about concepts and I literally have no idea what she is talking about.

I'm worried that he's only with me for my looks.

I wonder if a more intelligent person might be better for her.

Nerd Q&A: How Much Do Looks Matter?

Performer by The Lost Gallery

Here's a question I see a lot, both from girls, boys, women and men. In some form or another it boils down to, “how much do looks matter?”

I'd love to tell you that looks don't matter, but that would be a lie, and I'm not going to lie to you. They matter. Everyone knows this is true, and anyone telling you otherwise is trying to sell you something.

(Unless the person is visually impaired, in which case you can skip down to the hygiene section.)

Looks matter to everyone, even you.

That's right. I said it, and I can hear the plaintive, “but looks don't matter to me at all!” Just stop. You're not fooling anyone.

Nerd Q&A: How do I Date if I'm Awkward?

"According to advice, I'm supposed to at least be interesting, a good listener, or adventurous or something. Seems like a tall order."
(The original question also mentioned "I'm average looking", but I don't that's particularly relevant since by definition average puts you on the same level as most people, so you're not at a disadvantage in the looks department.)


This isn't actually a particularly tall order, but dating does take a little bit of effort, even for people who are socially skilled.