Nerd Traveler: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Pizzerias

Ninja Pizza - Turtles and Friend

You only have to watch about one minute from any episode of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoons, or maybe two minutes of one of their movies, to know that the Ninja Turtles love pizza. The boys even have a favorite Pizza Guy who delivers their pies.

But did you know that you can actually get your own Ninja Turtles pizza from a Ninja Turtle pizzeria? I'm not talking about Pizza Hut promotions, I'm talking about full on shell wearing, trademark flaunting, boxes with turtle logos, pizza delivery services. (Some translation may be required.)

You might think that New York City, home of the Ninja Turtles, would be overrun with Ninja Turtles pizza joints, but there are none to be found. In fact, there is currently no Ninja Turtle pizzeria anywhere in the state of New York or even the U.S., which isn't surprising considering the sizeable trademark infringement lawsuit something like that would attract.

There was once a legit Ninja Turtles Pizza Experience, complete with a visit from one or all of the turtles, at Antonio's Pizza-Rama in the Nickelodeon Resort in Orlando, but that has gone extinct and the resort is now a Holiday Inn.

Sorry, Mikey.

There was also a Turtles Pizza Van trekking across the U.S. during the release of the first Michael Bay Turtles movie, giving away free pizza and collecting toys for charity, but it hasn't been active since the end of 2014.

Sorry, Donnie.

But if you're in Glasgow, Scotland or Krasnoyarsk, Russia you're in luck!

That's right, you have to get pretty far away from New York, a city renown for its pizza prowess, to find a pizzeria with turtles in its logo. It's interesting that you have to go so far north to find some kind of Turtles pizza. Maybe it's the cold weather that makes people willing to put a turtle on the box.

First we have Ninja Turtles Pizzeria in Glasgow, Scotland. The city has been around long enough to appeal to history nerds, and the Glasgow Science Centre is a must see for science and architecture nerds (the building looks like a crashed space ship). Probably best known for its golf courses, Glasgow is one of the only places on the planet bold enough to put Ninja Turtles on their boxes. Their slogan: "Wanna be Ninja? Try Our Pizza!" Heck, I'd eat a slice if it meant I could be a ninja, even for an hour. 

Next up we have Ninja Pizza in Krasnoyarsk, Russia. While it's the third largest city in Siberia, and a major education center with over 30 universities, Krasnoyarsk doesn't draw a lot of tourists. However, it does boast one of the only Ninja Turtles pizzerias on Earth. While Ninja Pizza may be a little farther off the beaten path than Ninja Turtles Pizzeria, the storefront alone might be worth the trip, and it has an extremely well designed website complete with Ninja Turtle comic book panels setting up their menu. I feel like there's a story happening on the menu, but I the only word I can make out is cowabunga. I hope someone who reads Russian can help me out with a translation.

If you happen to find a third Ninja Turtles pizza joint tucked away somewhere, let me know and I'll add an update.